Oops!

I can't stand it when my husband's mad at me. I had gotten used to it back when I was cheating on him, but now that I'm really trying my best to be a good wife I just don't like it. Last night he had the alarm clock set for 10:45, I didn't come to bed till 9:30. Then when the alarm when off I just turned it off and went back to sleep. I don't even remember doing it, but I know I did cause it's on my side of the bed. And I double checked before I went to bed to make sure he had set it right. This isn't the first time I've done it, and it was even worse today because he was working with the boss. It was a horrible mistake, but still an honest one.

It seems like he thinks that I'm sabotaging him. Because he knows that I don't like him working so much. But I'm really not. I'll have to think of some way to make it up to him. Also I'll have to move the alarm clock farther away from the bed.

I'll be in touch,

Misty Dawn

Fake Happy?

So I was diagnosed with post-partum depression, again. They put me on a low dose of medicine for it and now I'm a lot happier. I guess that's a good thing, but I wish I could be happy without having to take the medicine. My life is so great, it seems like I shouldn't need it.

The first time I had post-partum depression I didn't admit it for months. Ricky was about 6 months old when I finally told the doctor and she gave me something for it. I was starting to get really grumpy and snapping at people. This time I didn't wait that long I started the medicine 2 weeks after I had Emmett.

So I'm not sure if I should feel guilty about taking the medicine, or if I should just be happy and shut up. It's a strange concept to me to take medicine to control your emotions. I don't like taking medicine at all.

So that's what I'm thinking about today.

I'll be in touch,

Misty Dawn

My little Ricky

Ricky just had another speech therapy evaluation. They're always so depressing. Ricky is so smart he just can't say what he's thinking, at least not so other people can understand him. I know what he's talking about most of the time. The notes from the speech therapist say "his phonological skills are judged to be profoundly delayed." I really don't like the word profoundly. It makes it sound like there's no hope, when I know there is. I really believe with everything I have that he will catch up someday. He's making progress every day, a year ago he was saying 4 words, now I can't even count how many words he knows.

I guess what bothers me the most is that there's no explanation for it. He was diagnosed with P.D.D.N.O.S. (pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified) which pretty much means they know there's something wrong but they don't know what it is. Maybe if we knew why he doesn't talk right we could fix it. I think I might get his hearing tested again, even though we've had him tested about 10 times and they never find anything wrong.

I worry about him so much.

I'll be in touch,
Misty Dawn

A Baby's Smile

My baby Emmett smiled for the first time the other day. I don't think anything can make you happier than a baby's smile. It just warms your heart, which sounds really corny but it's true.

It made me think about what I want for my kids as they grow up.

• Happiness
• Love
• A career that makes them fulfilled
• Babies, I know it's selfish but I want grandchildren!

I really think that's it. It's a pretty short list. I wonder what my mother wanted for me when I was growing up. She never put a lot of pressure on me to excel, sometimes I wish she had. I think she believed that if she just gave me love and support I would follow my own path and turn out just fine. I guess it worked. I'm not sure if I'll do the same thing; I think I'd rather pressure my kids just a little bit.

I'll be in touch,

Misty Dawn

All About Me

I've started blogs several times, but I always lose interest. I always treat them like a diary, but then I get into way too personal stuff and I don't want anyone else to read them. I want to start one that I can let other people read so that I can get out my ideas. I do have a lot of them, no matter what you've heard. I'm usually very quiet about what I think, I don't like to cause conflict. So be nice or I might give up on this one too.

How about a little introduction. My name is Misty I'm a 27 y/o stay at home mom and part time student. I have a 4 year old boy named Ricky and a 5 week old boy named Emmett. I also have a wonderful husband named Scott and 2 dogs, 2 cats, and a fish. We live in a log cabin in western maine. I love my life despite the stress and depression that comes along with it. The good times definatly outweigh the bad. We've had some bad times in past couple years, including 2 major truck accidents that changed who my husband is forever and also some marital infidelity on my part that in the long run has made us closer. Even though I would take it back if I could. I love my extended family, but I don't feel like I always fit in. I'll explain why in a later post I'm sure.

So that's me, take it or leave it.

I'll be in touch,
Misty Dawn